Fear Of Death

I have heard from some people,
"I don't have any problem in dying, If death comes next minute also, i am ready"
I have wondered so many times, how could that be possible?
Because it is not at all possible for me.
I know what is a reality and I can understand that everyone has to die one day.
But still i can't say like that, because i can't think in the same way.
Death and Me? O my God! Not able to Imagine...

Sometimes, when i am lonely i used to think about it..
I will think, i should die before my husband, because i can't tolerate his absence in my life..
Another part of my mind will think, No.. Who will take care of him better than me, if i am not there?
Same way for others also...

Person who died, is lucky in fact...
But whoever misses them, is really in trouble...

If i think of death, i will remember all these things...

One of my childhood friends who died when we were in 5th standard because of some disease... Because of her death only, i realized people will not come back after death..

One of my high school friend, who killed herself, for some silly reason...

One of my college friend's cry on her first birthday, after her dad passed away.. We were not able to convince her... At that time only, I realized no one can replace anyone in this world... Every relationship is important, but each is having a different feeling...

One of my colleagues, who killed herself for love failure.. I ll remember her face almost daily once.. I don't know why...

My Grandpa who killed himself, because he had cancer and he did not want to trouble anyone to look after him when he is not able to take care of himself.

My another Grandpa who died, with sudden heart attack, exactly 3 days after my marriage...
He comes almost everyday in my dreams...My mom told that you are thinking about him continuously somewhere in your mind.. Thats why dream comes like this.. I miss him badly...

Even though, there are so many things I have seen and heard about death, these things will not vanish from my mind whenever i think about death...

My college professor told once, if you don't know where you are going ( your destination) you will get afraid. That is why we all will get afraid of death. Somehow i will feel that is also a reason..

Whatever... We should live our life with complete satisfaction... We should be humble and polite as much as possible...

Everywhere happiness is there... Lets enjoy....

Vaanadhi