My Soul

She passed away
Yes, that is how everyone say
She left in me, deep pain
Something more too, like stain
I was with her for 25 years
She lived for good 100 years



There was always generation gap in our talk

She knew only to love

She didn't know to hate anyone

She lost her son at 97 years

She cried a lot; but still she lived.

She never thought about self killing.

She struggled a lot in her life.

She is God for me.

I can't pass single day without thinking of her.

She saw 5 generations.

She knew everything from organic agriculture to Computer and iPhone

She did not know to read; but whatever we learnt from her can make a book.

She was afraid of wind

She liked sweets.

She loved my dad like anything.

Even in midnight, she used to get up and ask about my dad.

She longed to see my brother;

The people who she loved the most, could not make for her funeral.

I was with her in her last days.

I thank God for the opportunity to serve her in her last days.

She is my 'Aaya'; we have age gap of four generations.

When it rains, I remember her;

When there is wind, I remember her;

When I eat sweets, I remember her;

I miss her a lot. I love her a lot. She is there with me always.

Before Motherhood and After Motherhood

Any woman's life can be divided into two parts: Before Motherhood and After Motherhood.
For some ladies, it is Before Marriage and After Marriage ( In my case this is not applicable; Me and My activities were same before and after marriage)
Before Motherhood, if anyone told me that there is no time to do exercise, no time to go out with friends, no time to read books etc, I used to wonder.
But now things are different.
The above things are happening in my life too.
My kid is 8 months old.
My life became a race.
My schedule is this:
Each morning cook, clean the house, Feed the baby and run for work.
If it is 12.30, rush to home, take care of baby and again by 2.30 rush for work.
By 5.30, reach home, take my daughter out for a walk, return by 6.30.
Again cooking, doing laundry, making baby to sleep. Some times my office work extends till 11.30 PM

In this routine, so many times I longed to read a book, to do yoga, to talk with my close ones; but the problem is "No Time".
Even for my husband, the same routine.
I have worked on my time management so many days, but still there is no solution that I found.
Still I am working to find out some "MeMe" time to enjoy my personal life.
 
This morning gave me great feeling
I talked with one of my closest, after long time.
While walking from parking slot to work-tower, I called her.

Sharing is very important. Do find time for that.

Have Happy Day!!!

Love,
Vaanadhi

A book that left me painful feelings

I completed the first novella of  'the mother i never knew' by Sudha Murthy.
I closed the book with deep pain in my heart.
And also it created strange feelings in my mind.

I felt very sad for Bhagavva and Shankar
I became a part of that story itself.
I could run with Venkatesh along all the way to Hubli and Mysore.
The characters of Shantha and Ravi left a deep pain in me.
I have met many such kind of characters in my life.

I felt that I read a nice story after long time.
Thanks to Sudha Murthy.

I have planned to start the other novella in the same book soon.
Will share my view on that too.

Till then, bye bye.

Happy weekend.

With Love,
Vaanadhi

The I MeMe

I always wonder about MeMe questions; It helps to refresh the mind instantly.
I came across this one in SundayStealing.
Thought I would do it..

This is the I MeMe

I am an enthusiast who does N things and wants to do that N+1 thing.

I want to be active in each moment.

I have so much hope and interest in life.

I wish to go and live in the Chola Era for 2 days and come back.

I hate possessivenes and rumours.

I fear of losing my loved ones.

I hear the words of my loved ones.

I search happiness and satisfaction in life everyday.

I wonder about the lessons that every experience gives us.

I regret for the things that I missed when young.

I love to be fit and energetic.

I never tried to smoke.

I ache when I couldn't do anything for some people's suffering.

I always enjoy to read new things and to visit new places.

I usually eat home made food.

I am not interested in statistics.

I dance when I am alone and whenever I feel so down.

I sing to make my baby to sleep.

I sometimes like to eat outside food.

I cry if depressed.

I am not always interested in others' talk.

I lose my mind when playing with kids.

I am confused about God and Religion.

I need a two wheeler at this point of time to drive to an unplanned destination.

I should concentrate on work, as my manager is going to ask me update in 30 minutes.

:)

It was nice experience...
Feeling active now...

Enjoy

Love,
Vaanadhi

Have you felt these with a sibling? ( post 7 : 7 days challenge )

Below age 10:

Why I had this brother? He is sharing everything what I eat.
He is my mother's son and I am my father's daughter.
Because of this guy, my parents do not give importance to my thoughts.
Why he born before me? Because of this guy I get all old books and toys which he used.

Age 10- 15:

I have an elder brother and he is part of my family.
It feels good to share things with him.
I want to be friends with him but he doesn't understand that.
Why the hell he interfere in my activities?

Age 15-20:

I miss my brother ( I was in hostel )
I like my brother's character so much
He might have girl friends?
Is he a body guard to me?

Age 20-25:

I want to be with my brother in all the festivals. It should be like our childhood.
I want to share things with him.
My brother is my first best friend.
I love him so much and miss him a lot.
He is there for me always in my life.

I am from a remote village in India, and I did feel these with my sibling at different stages.
What did you feel with yours?

I have achieved my challenge. And I did yoga too for these seven days. Feeling so happy.

Have happy weekend.


Love,
Vaanadhi

A Child's Interest ( Post 6: 7 Days Challenge )

Yesterday I was teaching Social Science to my cousin.
The topic was, Tamil classification of Landscapes.
I explained him Tamil literature has classified the landscapes into five categories.
(Click here if you are interested to know about that)
And I did explain about each one of them.
I told him if other landscapes have gone dry, then it is transformed into "Palai"
"There will be vultures in Palai", I told.
"Why do vultures exist in dry land", He asked.
"Because there  will be so many dead animals and birds, Vulture can eat them" - My unsure answer.
"If all the animals and birds die due to dryness, how do vultures exist?" - He
"They might have traveled from some other landscape"- Me
"Why can't some other animals travel to palai landscape other than vultures"- He
" They can't live as there will not be any water and food " - Me
" How long a vulture can survive without water? " - I was checking in web for this.
Then he lost interest, and he started asking about some other topic.
I wondered about the child's ability of thinking.
Actually, I wanted him to memorize the fact that vultures exist in palai, as it will appear for his test.
But he had lots of things in mind about palai and vulture.
A child's mind is always open for thinking and observing. Their interests will differ from elders.
Want to be a child once again, to exclaim with even smallest thing in the world.

Love,
Vaanadhi

Unshared Love ( Post 5: 7 Days Challenge )

The most worst regret in anyone's life will be the one, which we feel after a person's death.
Because we cannot go back and solve it at any cost ( may be if we die too ).
I have felt so many times that, I should have been more close to this person, I should have done this thing to her, I could have taken him to this place, like this.
There are so many "Never-done-but-wanted-to-do" things in my life.
One day I thought about this.
What is the point of regretting after a person's death.
I stopped regretting ( Sometimes I used to share with Dinesh if I feel too down )
But what can be done after stopping?
Only one thing came to my mind.
"At least from now, I should not miss anything which may give chance for future contrite"
I started doing that. I started sharing my love.

Better to express your feelings,at least good feelings, then and there.

Plan an unexpected trip.
Surprise your loved ones with which they might not expect, and will make them happy.
Always share your love.
Help your partner.
Listen to your kids.
Watch that good movie which you are longing.
Join a hobby class which you would enjoy the most.
Take your parents to some small trip where they will enjoy.
Call your busy friend to ask his\her whereabouts.

There are nothing static in this world.
Envy, Angry and things like these will not take us anywhere but leaving the feeling of regret.
We do not know what will happen tomorrow.
Enjoy today!!!

Have a Happy Life...

Love,
Vaanadhi